Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
