My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
