he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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