I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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