new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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