She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
