Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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