I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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