come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
