yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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