Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
