I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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