That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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