he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
