No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
