Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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