Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize