Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
