Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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