My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
