I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize