Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
