If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
