okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
