you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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