I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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