i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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