I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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