Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
