sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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