I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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