carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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