Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
