I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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