you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
