weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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