I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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