hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
