Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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