i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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