i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
