Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
