I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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