Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
