in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize