Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
