no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
