we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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