I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
