Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
