I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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