You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just had sex on a roof
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
