i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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