one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
