i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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