The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are we still banned from the library?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
