I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
They have beer where we have blood.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
