In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
