hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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