i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
